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| (image via flickr: davekugler) |
I found this list on a website called 'Hybrid Moms' -- it's a very helpful website if you have parenting questions. I found this very true for myself and I think that these 'habits' can help you to feel more relaxed and easy-going (ie. nonchalant?!) about being a mom. I promise you I follow each and every one of these rules (well except one) and I think that they are easy to overlook but they are all important!
I would add in there, and not for every year, but take a trip away with your friend(s), this is something that I have rarely done in the past but found the beauty of it last year when I went to Paris with my friend. We had so much fun laughing and just doing whatever WE wanted to do! If you can find the time and use your 'points' or whatever and just go.... (I will show you how to do Paris (kind of) cheap... in a blog soon!). But it's all about making sure that you are happy, because if you are not I can guarantee your kids know it and why not just take care of yourself, your family will love you for it!
1. Find time for yourself
Happy moms know they deserve a little time to themselves. When you know you're going to have a little room to breathe later on in the day, it's easier to take on everything that's in front of you. Our formula? Take 2 hours out for yourself every 3 days.
2. Don't make a happy baby, happier!
We all do it...you see your baby's head at what you're sure is an unnatural angle snoozing in their car seat. You just know they'll be happier if their head was straight. So you move them. And they wake up. Then they scream. Or, you see them playing happily in the sand. You just know they'll be happier if they played on the slide. So you interrupt them and move them to the slide. And they're ppiiiiiissssssssed. And they let you know they're piiiiissssssssed. Here's the thing, they were happy. It can be hard to do, but if your kid's not complaining, leave them be! Happy baby = Happy Mommy.
3. Have sex
At least once a week. Sex makes mommies happy. Good sex makes mommies very happy.
4. Lather up
It's so easy to throw sweats on over your pajamas, go about your day, and simply remove the sweats and climb back into bed at the end of the day. Taking just 15 minutes to shower with a scented soap or body scrub and putting on fresh clothes improves your mood and changes your whole perspective on the day.
5. Embrace the mess
So your house doesn’t look like something out of a magazine. That just means it’s cozy! Your children have hands coated in dirt from the playground and faces coated in spaghetti from dinner. It’s not gross—it’s an adorable photo op! Life is about how you look at things. Next time that pile of laundry that’s been sitting on the chair for three days starts to get you down, just remember… it’s probably feng shui.
6. Don't compete and compare
The green-eyed monster has eaten away at the happiness of many a mom.
7. Watch how happy your children are—naturally
Happiness is a choice and the beauty of life is always right in front of you, in the little day-to-day things. Happy moms happen to take notice.
8. Love and respect yourself and your time
Don’t volunteer for every single activity at school. Even “super woman” had a staff and you can’t do it all.
9. Make time for your friends
Your family can survive without you while you make time to see friends. You are a woman with your own identity and its imperative that you and that identity go out for some margaritas once in awhile!
10. Laugh and be merry
Don’t be the uptight mom. Learn to laugh at your mistakes and successes. It’s okay- it’s life.
11. Move It
Exercise for your sanity not just for your waist line. When you are feeling overwhelmed by your charming but noisy brood, take a walk. It will help your mood.
12. Stop blowing yourself off
While you may be the one taking care of everyone, it doesn't mean you can't also get what you want. Help your family realize your needs are as important as theirs and when mom is happy, everyone is happy, but when mom is not....
13. Get a babysitter
We all love our kids but we need a break from them. Hire a babysitter and go out. Put your cell phone on vibrate and resist the temptation to look at your phone or to call and check in. Even if you think you can’t afford a sitter right now, find a way. Skip coffee out, dig quarters out of the couch, swap childcare with a girlfriend, do whatever it takes and hire a babysitter at least a couple times a month.
14. Lipstick and sexy underwear, oh my!
Happy moms splurge on themselves once in awhile. Treat yourself to a bouquet of your favorite flowers, an indulgent new lipstick or some sexy lingerie—and don’t feel guilty.
15. Get in the zone
Take 10 minutes to do absolutely nothing but rest. Take a break from your day, close your eyes, breath in slowly and deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Repeat several times. Think about a place you love that is relaxing, spend 10 minutes there in your mind.
16. Let it out
Set your kids in front of the television with enough snacks to keep them quiet. Go into your bedroom and cry--sometimes just giving yourself permission to cry can make you feel better. We don’t recommend pity parties on a regular basis, but everyone needs a good cry once in a while.
17. Remember your dreams and goals
Everyday we are encouraging our children to reach their full potential. But sometimes in the midst of being a parent we forget about our own dreams and goals. The best thing you can do to encourage a child is to lead by example –happy moms hold on to their dreams and goals and don’t let go.
18. Do something that's just for you
Whether it's a hobby, taking a class, or playing tennis, create a specific time for you to engage in your "thing" and make it non-negotiable (i.e. just as important as a scheduled appointment).
19. Be lighthearted
Be silly and dance with your kids to their music or tv show tunes. Be romantic and pull your partner into a waltz. Dance in slippery socks in your kitchen while making dinner.
20. Bend the Rules
One of the best parts of making the rules is occasionally breaking them. Maybe it’s taking your child out of school for half a day on their birthday, or waking them up in the middle of the night to see a sky of shooting stars. Happy moms know how to turn the mundane into fun.
21. Mind your own business
Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Stop seeking the validation of others and be confident in yourself.
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