the nonchalantdad: sex, sex, sex, sex, sex

My wife subscribes to many magazines. Naturally, every now and then, I pick them up and look at the pictures and read some of the articles. I'm the kind of guy who likes to read everything I can get my hands on. Give me a cereal box and I will read it like it was the encyclopedia. So, I can tolerate much. I just like information. But, I tell you, lately I've been getting annoyed. The subject of my annoyance? Sex.

Now, a man annoyed by the subject of sex is an odd thing to hear I suppose. Nonetheless, I'm annoyed. It seems that our media is awash with the stuff. Now, the parenting magazines, children's magazines, family magazines, keep mentioning it. I feel like I'm in high school again. Usually, the article is accompanied by a rather sexy image of people who certainly look well rested, clear skinned, and well-coiffed - in other words, people not well associated with the apparent rigours of child rearing. These articles suggest all manner of ways to spice up the ol' sex life, re-create that elusive first date with your spouse, cook sexy meals, wear sexy clothes (even though you might have just given birth), and say all sorts of sexy things. Some of the more risky articles even give us tips on locating specific areas of the human body. I even read one in a children's magazine that coached parents on positioning.

When I was a child some of these articles would have been associated with the magazines frustratingly located at the top of the magazine rack. Not now, sex is mainstream. SEX is everywhere. You are reminded that you need to be having sex. And, if you are not having sex, you need to be thinking about having sex. And, if you are not thinking about having sex, then ..... well..... you just aren't that popular. My friend, if you are not wearing sex, acting sex, being sex.... you just ain't sexy.

Well, I've got a new article for your parenting magazine. It's called: I'm #^%&*&% TIRED. You're expecting me, after getting up at 5am, getting the kids ready for school, cleaning the house, fixing something, going to work, paying the bills, etc etc etc. By 11pm I'm thinking of a few things, and usually none of them have to do with donning some swash buckling uniform and swinging across our matrimonial bed looking for spots that start with the letter 'G'. For my wife and I, those of you who want to chase the sex up and down the street - good for you. I wish you many happy returns. But, for me, after taking the kids to go pee at midnight (my shift), I'm usually thinking of finding sleep. And, hey, if I'm feeling lucky on am average Saturday night, I might ask my sexy wife if she wants to share some ice cream... and maybe.... just maybe.... she'll rub my feet. Usually, though, it's my turn to rub hers. And, you know what? That's good enough for me.

a sheet of nori a day for energy!

this is something that I learned long ago at macrobiotic camp and both my sister and I have tried it and feel that it really does give us more energy for the day ahead! plus, as I have talked about before, your kids will love it too! I have not met a child who doesn't like the taste of toasted nori...it's really funny how that works! I find that small kids who don't question the look of it are very happy to try it...and they always find it delicious (even for babies in very small amounts).

you can purchase nori sheets just about anywhere (but here is a link to the kushi store where you are ensured that it is good and organic). we toast them right on the stove top by turning the flame down to the smallest possible flame (or it works well if you have been cooking and your grill is still hot) just take a single sheet and toast until it turns bright green and you are ready! you can also do this in an iron skillet if need be...the toasted nori will become light and delicate and very yummy! (you can see the difference between raw and toasted in the photo) eat a sheet a day and I think you will feel a difference.

while we are talking about nori, I would also like to mention that it's nice to have the nori around because if you are like us and make big batches of brown rice and you have leftovers the next day it's a great way to make brown rice sushi! just steam your rice to heat it up and fill your sushi with your families favorites (and throw a little piece of umeboshi plum inside for extra yumminess!)..all you need is a sushi mat, brown rice, nori and some vegetables! instant snack or dinner! and kids like to get in on the creating...it's good fun (and just a bit messy)

good luck and let me know if you find yourself with more energy!

togo - for kids!

I had to comment because I just found about the togo for kids! (yes!) we are big fans and you may have seen our togo in the background of many of the photos on nonchalant mom...did I say how much we love it! so far it has been through the ringer, it is always part of the massive tent that we make in the living room AND my kids jump over it (...on it) regularly, it's also been sneezed on (you know what I mean!), spilled on and much worse (I know...you are just making a point to never come to visit!) but the togo somehow still looks fantastic! so from my lips to your ears...these are a super choice and they look GREAT in your futuristic, swanky, hang out pad...I'm only kidding, I think they are great with almost any decor! here is the basic information and you can get more information from the ligne roset website - the Togo comes in two sizes: baby togo, for ages 2-4 or dolls.. ($485) and mini-togo, for ages 5-12 ($680) it sounds steep, but they are great!

kindergallery

I recently got an email from fiona at kindergallery and when I took the jump to her website I was amazed to see a wonderful idea, expertly executed and I couldn't wait to tell you all about it! kindergallery came on the scene last year and will open your doors to a number of artists that will amuse and delight! and I think these supreme artists using a variety of mediums will offer a great void in the decor of kids rooms, for their certain, very special fantasy sense as well as the fact that they are a sheer joy to look at! kindergallery is located in australia (shucks!) but I think if you beg them they can work with you no matter where you are....make kindergallery a special stop for you when you want to take a moment to breathe and smile!

the Nonchalantdad: You too can win the lottery!

A friend of mine informed me recently that he was being offered the cover of a prestigious (if unnamed) magazine. The people behind this magazine cover victory had sent him a cursory email announcing that he was

what they wanted. Of course, the email was brief and vaguely written - and the biggest suspicion that this was all a ruse came in the form of the name of the magazine. The magazine was named very strangely after my friend's name. He pretended that he was honoured - even though he was amazed that this 'magazine' chose him, without any effort on his part, over the thousands and thousands of other massage therapists in existence.

Which reminds me. The people who run these scams are getting smarter (or more stupid) depending on how you see it. It used to be that you could just count on an email from an 'esteemed friend' in your inbox. The email almost always beckoned you with a tragic story that you just could not ignore, and then tried to gain your confidence by luring you into doing something that logic told you was outrageous. I enjoyed the names they would come up with for these emails. But, even funnier for me were the position titles of some of the people behind the email pleas. My favourite one was a gentleman who was writing to me from a Central African bank. He was offering me a chance to share with him a ludicrous fortune laying dormant in an account of person wrongfully killed. His title was 'Administrator, Adjustor, Communicator, and Decision Person'. Yes... 'Decision Person'. Of course, I immediately wrote this gentleman back to tell him how impressed I was with his story. I was so excited that he found me out of the millions of people on the planet he could have gone to with this story. I gave him all my personal information and even told him where to find my soul in some anonymous locker at the local airport....hmmm.

Now, I've been getting announcements from various lottery committees in certain European countries announcing my winning of contests that I didn't even know I had entered. How exciting, I thought. So far this past week I have won 3 major awards worth somewhere like 500 million Euros. I wrote them emails explaining that as soon as I got my soul back from my friend the '...Decision Person' at that bank in Central Africa I'd fly over and collect my earnings. What a LUCKY fellow I am! My children could now grow up to be proud of me for doing absolutely nothing.....

My son is 5 now and he has shown a great interest in answering the home telephone - which can be amusing when it is not exasberating. My wife and I have explained to him how the telephone works, how and when to answer and what to say and not say. The lesson isn't always heeded. Generally, though, he is good. However, there was the small problem of those pesky telemarketers... the people who are always trying to sell you something. There were a few problems when he'd forget what we'd told him and in his excitement at the phone ringing he'd answer. It wasn't serious, it just made in slightly annoying to then have to follow through with the call - a call you'd rather have let the message machine answer. Then, it dawned on me. Perhaps the very person the uninvited telemarketer needed to speak to was my 5 year old son. So, in order to bridge the gap between my son's excitement to answer the telephone and my annoyance at having to endure a telemarketer I let him answer the telephone while I am with him - and only when I give him the green light. It is a system that seems to work well for him, and helps the family rid the house of pesky telemarketers. Because, if a telemarketer seems to hate anything more than an irate adult, it is an inquisitive child... especially a child with boundless curiosity.

So, now if we encounter a telephone telemarketer I let my son do all the talking. The conversation usually lasts about 2 minutes ... and I always monitor the conversation. The telemarketer asks the questions, or tries the speech. But, with my coaching, my son keeps them on their toes.... until they lose their footing that is. I ask my son to ask them where they live, what their names are, what their favourite colour is, who their favourite cartoon character is, and what their favourite food is - things like that. For the final insult to patience, I whisper to my son to start counting to 100. By about the number 24, which he has slowly and methodically arrived at, I can hear the phone hang up on the other end. The tables are turned then, the exasperation is now theirs and not ours. And, that is how the phone call always ends. My son thinks it is amusing, I think it is safely monitored, and the telemarketers are becoming less and less of a nuisance.

Now, if only I could find a way to get my son to help me get rid of those pesky people at the so-called Lottery Commission in Europe.... you know.. the ones who want to give me the millions of Euros for nothing. If only there was an email equivalent.

happy valentines day!

it was 6:00 pm the night before valentines day and we realized that sander needed to have valentines day cards for school...(ooops..we didn't do this last year in montessori school?!) so, have no fear, computer graphics are here! we whipped up these cards super fast (he picked out the picture and the font and a little wing ding, he likes the ying/yang symbol right now!) we all decided that 'be my valentine' was the way to go, and as we like to say in our family...tA-DaaAAAh!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO EVERYONE!!

here are the basics:
you will need quark or inDesign, pick out a photo and add the wonderful valentine message of your choice (we used bauhaus font)...I am sure that other people know where to get a better wing ding, but we couldn't find a heart in our short deadline (bedtime), so we opted for a ying yang, give it a red square background and print into heavy matte paper. glue red construction paper onto the back, cut out (maybe in heart shape?!) and whola! your kids can help with cutting, gluing, looking for images (my kids love that part the most! they want to use them all!), we also added some cut-out hearts that we glued on to each card...

this was much more fun that going out and buying cards, grandparents will flip over these home-spun keepsakes! and if you don't have a computer...cut-out cards are so much fun...you just need to plan ahead a bit! good luck and have fun!

new space!

I have to admit...I am a little nervous to show you this, but I wanted you to know why I have not been posting much lately! (and maybe your orders may have taken a little longer than our usual snappy service) we moved our space down the street and we REALLY love it!! happy as clams, we are back to work but still searching for some things! (we also found some treasures in the move too...) as you can imagine organizing is not one of nonchalant mom's 'passions' but we are getting there! and we've come a long way from our guest house in 2004!! ...with spring/summer arriving quickly from everyone we are gearing up and ready to go!

this is dana in our old space packing boxes...

my favorite blog! bkids....

if you are wondering where I get my inspiration from you will be happy to know about bloesem kids! or bkids as she calls her spin-off blog from wildly popular design blog 'bloesem'. bkids creator and voice is irene hoofs, yes, those dutch really have it! I will follow irene anywhere! and she can take you along too...it's a spectacularly edited trip into truly amazing design for kids...bkids is my homepage and I visit any time that I have a moment.

once in a while she will write an in-depth blog about a subject; be it very special books for kids (that obviously have a serious design angle), a trip to amsterdam (that made us want to make the trip with our kids), knitting (her special hats and booties!) and so much more!

and she has enlisted special help from her friend arounna khounnoraj who craftily executes creative projects for kids that we never miss! I love this weeks, which is a 'found object mobile!' it was really fun and my kids went crazy for it! so click on her blog (often) and you will be inspired to create and just look at good things for kids! thank you irene and arounna! and don't ever quit!

yoga for your body AND mind!

if you are serious about yoga you usually have a yoga guru of your own, I would like to give you a chance for you to try out my yoga guru...karin stephan. I have been following her practice for about 8 years. there are so many reasons that I love karin and I could go on and on but I really feel like nonchalant mom is about introducing new ideas, look into karin for yourself here and I will keep it at that! for those of you in new york city karin teaches classes at the iyengar institute from time to time and you can see her schedule here. but for those lucky folks who live in the boston area you can practically go when you wish! there is an upcoming workshop on 'the advanced studies course in the art of yoga and therapeutics and healing' february 16th - 21st and I will be going for the day on the 16th (see the class on the 16th here) so if you want to join me...let's sign up (the 16th is on 'alignment and the asymmetric body')!!

you can read much more about karin if you check out her yoga macro website here she also runs a bed and breakfast, so if you want to come for the day you can stay with her and she offers a macrobiotic breakfast. and don't be surprised when she peppers her classes with her very interesting 30 year background in the study of Mr. Iyengar's yoga teachings. Karin is fascinating as much as she is an elegant and insightful yoga teacher, and her inclusion of macrobiotics and internal organs makes her classes so incredibly ....whole! you will not be let down...I guarantee it!
I would also like to add that I went to one of karins retreats on cape cod after I had my first son, it was my first trip away from him when he was almost 2 years old, and it really brought my mind and body back into itself and made me much more clear. I really feel as though it makes me a stronger parent because my mind is stronger as well as my body and it also feels so very good to look after yourself sometimes! ...you know what I mean!

gomasio....instead of salt!

when kids are young there is really no need for salt in their diet and gomasio is a nice way to add taste to your cooking with much less salt...AND it's easy to prepare, if you make it yourself then you can also watch the amount of salt that you are using. you can buy raw sesame seeds in bulk at most health food stores and whole foods, so buy a bunch so that you have it on hand when you need it and store in an airtight container in a cool, dry place. you can also buy already prepared gomasio but I think it has too much salt, and the smell and flavor is so much better when you prepare it yourself. in fact, I remember when I had our first son Dr. Warren King told me not to use salt until he was 4 years old (dr. warren king is my 'guru' doctor and if you are lucky enough to live in Minnesota you MUST give him a try...you will be amazed!).

I would like to take a moment to talk about a nice iron skillet. I think this is a very important tool in your kitchen and the best is Griswald. now you only have to decide on the size that is right for you and your family, we have both a size 6 and an 8, we use them both every day! I bought them at a flea market ten years ago for about $7 each, years ago and they will last forever (I have been carting them all around the world with me). You should never use soap to clean them, just warm water and a brush work great, then dry them off on the flame on your stove...after awhile they will season nicely to your cooking and they will add healthy iron to your meals that is essential, especially for women.

so take your iron skillet, dry, and put in a couple of hand-fulls of sesame seeds. toast on a medium flame until golden and then add about a teaspoon of salt and toss again. take your seeds off the flame and put them into a suribachi or use a mortar and pestle (I have also used a empty wine bottle and cutting board..so anything can work) and grind the sesame seeds for a bit until they are pretty cracked and the aroma is fantastic! and there you go!

gomasio is such a wonderful and healthy topping for all meals and kids really love it! ...and it's a good source of iron and calcium!

The Nonchalantdad: Christmas Redux!

We are safely out of the MAJOR holiday season at our home. We seem to have survived without much internal friction or disillusionment – the kinds of things that occur whenever immediate family are confined together for any length of time in one place. We are not an overtly religious family. As such, we choose to consider the Christmas period as an opportunity to bring family together to celebrate… well… family and friends, and the spirit of giving and loving associated with the day itself. We have many friends who are more religious than ourselves, both Christians and Jews, and at this time of year we try to make our children aware of the many different values that others place on Christmas or Hannukah. We see no reason not to share others ideas and believes – it will only enable our own children to make up their own minds later in life.

But, most important to us at this time is to show our kids the wonder and excitement that comes from celebrating Christmas – the absolute joy of being a child, and the magic that goes into many of the customs associated with it. We have an array of experience to share with our little ones. My wife comes from a firm Swedish custom, and I am from a fairly unique family environment – my father was Muslim, and my mother is Christian. I remember clearly the year my mother somehow persuaded my father to dress as Santa Klaus and distribute toys to us and other neighbourhood kids. Having Santa speak to you, however briefly, in a middle eastern accent does raise suspicions a little though. But, by then, we were already drifting into our doubts about Santa in general.

But, the magic is important. Aside from birthdays, it is the one time where children can really be immersed in all the myths and customs associated with it. In our home, we have the quintessential American experience. My wife, and her family, insist on celebrating Christmas the evening of the 24th of December. And they should – they are Swedish. As for my family, we tended towards celebrating starting the morning of the 25th. In this regard, we followed my mother’s English history. As I mentioned, my father being Muslim, he was kind enough to not have any insistence. Instead, he regarded the whole celebration with amusement and treated it with the respect he had for any occasion that brought the whole family together. His usual custom was to give each child an envelope on Christmas day filled with a cash amount that was always just below the average childs standard of living!

So, we have a hodge-podge of customs we try to incorporate. On Christmas eve we have
a large meal with family and friends. Most importantly we await the arrival of Santa. After the kids are bathed and filled with so much excitement and expectation that they can hardly stand it (and just prior to bedtime), somebody announces excitedly that they see a red light in the sky. This, of course, for those of you who don’t know, means that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is guiding old Santa in. Shortly afterwards, there is the sound of bells and stomping feet on our roof (Thankfully, our roof is flat). We must be the only family in the near region who has the distinction of having a semi intoxicated, Jewish, homosexual Santa on our roof. And he really does his job well! The kids are screaming and bumping into each other as they scatter to hide so that Santa doesn’t necessarily see them. We corral them into hiding just beneath the window that looks out onto our back garden. After a period of silence (Santa has to navigate his magical self back down from the roof without breaking his own neck) Santa appears in full regalia around the corner, hunched over with a bag of toys on his back. Someone invariably screams and Santa pauses for a second before bellowing out a huge HO-HO-HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS … and lists off the name of our children. The kids peak over the window to see him slowly and emphatically lower the bag of toys next to a large rock sitting next to our back door. The kids can hardly contain themselves by now. With that, Santa turns and walks back towards where he came from. This year, because the kids were just to damned excited we opened the back door in time for the kids to scream after him. He turned and waved… repeating the words almost every child loves to hear: HO-HO-HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS. The kids are beside themselves. After a moment we let them out to fetch the bag and bring it in. There is a toy for each.

In a nod to my families custom, we save some of the toys under the tree for the next morning. As well, the kids remain excited through the night as they anticipate the stockings being filled in the morning and the cookies and milk consumed by Santa as he returns inexplicably to leave more JOY. Christmas day we have an equally special morning meal of homemade swedish pancakes and the kids open some more gifts. Thus, the magic of the holiday is elongated and both parents and kids are happy for it. It makes sense to us, and by doing so, we avert the often hectic one-time affair of opening gifts that has in the past made for some sour moments – only because nothing special comes from the speedy chaos of that one moment when everyone simulataneously descends on the tree!

kideko sale!

I swear you won't find me yelling out 'sale' often but I love this australian bedding company, kideko...and it's a sale...so I figured it all might work together to equal a good deal to make your kids bedrooms even more bright and fun! (maybe even pay the shipping costs from australia) and not only the beds, handy utility bags, wall posters and my favorite the height charts! (this way you can take the memories with you in case, 'gasp' you move!

and FINALLY.. instead of trucks for boys kideko has given us a refreshing alternative...monsters! (but they happen to be cute!..see green above)

I'll let the images speak for themselves but don't miss this sale!!
visit their website here!

brown rice 101

It's the time of year when, even if it was not a resolution, we are thinking about eating more healthy, and less heavy meals. I think that the essential part of that healthy meal is brown rice! in our house we embrace brown rice and use it in most of our cooking. but I know that a lot of people don't like to make brown rice because 1) you have to wash the rice and 2) the long cooking time....my sister also soaks her brown rice, a step that I never seem to plan into the cooking time! but it is better and more digestible that way. you will see that it is a good idea to wash brown rice because when you do you will see all of the dust that is washed off in the process, so just do it!...take your cup of rice and put it in a bowl of cold water and swish around with your hand and you will see the dust wash out, then just pour off the water. repeat this process three times and you are ready to go! soon you will become a pro at this and you won't mind the process at all, in fact it's kind of meditation time for me.

the next step gets easier, put your rice in a good size pot and add double the amount of water (1 cup rice/2 cups water), then throw in a small piece of kombu and 1 umeboshi plum (sometimes I put the shiso leaves that the plums are pickled in for added flavor, it's delicious!). cover your pot and put on a low flame (if you have a flame tamer...even better!) and put on your timer for 45 mins. check at 40 minutes and your rice might be ready and you can let it sit for a about 5-10 minutes before serving. whola! delicious brown rice...easy! at first you might want to take out the remains of kombu and umeboshi when you are finished cooking, but as you get more used to it you should just take out the umeboshi plum pit and then stir it all in with the rice (both the kombu and the umeboshi).

the kombu adds wonderful minerals to your brown rice and calcium, and also helps you to digest it better and the umeboshi plum works instead of salt (as well as it's powerful strengthening and alkalinizing properties). this all adds up to more healthy, and delicious, brown rice.

I like to cook a little more than we actually need for dinner so that we have some on hand for snacking, and I like to make the kids a kind of 'fried rice' by sautéing it with vegetables the next day. I cut up just about any kind of vegetables (and always some broccoli) and chop it up in small bits so they don't really notice the amount of veggies that they are really getting and there you go (you can drizzle some toasted seasame oil and gomasio on top as a garnish, I will teach you to make gomasio in my next blog) ...and they love it! you can also add some miso broth and it becomes very yummy it's really a favorite in our house (and it's also good when your refrigerator is bare!).

another leftover for brown rice, this one is maybe more for yourself than your kids, but I like to make a really strong miso (just with the water and paste) and then add some brown rice so it's like brown rice soup...it's a simple and cleansing meal for you and I always feel more energized by it!

whatever you do with brown rice you always know you are getting a strengthening and fortifying meal. so good luck and get on with it and enjoy your brown rice!

you can buy terrific organic brown rice and all the above ingredients (umeboshi and kombu) at the kushi store here but you can also find everything at your local co-op or whole foods.

baby creams, oils, and all that goes with it....

I think that babies bring to most families an acute awareness of all things natural and organic, because, let's face it we would never want to put anything bad on our babies skin...and I am here to tell you there are some crazy bad things out there, just read a bottle of johnson's baby lotion...yikes! it's a like a list of things you don't want for your new babies bottom. the good news is that there are some good things out there, and many of them have been around for a long time and are tried and true, like, my favorite weleda! aahhh...and the next time someone tells you that lotions need parabens to be stable, ask them why weleda products don't!? hhhmmm....you will see eyebrows cross and faces grind.

Weleda has been around for 86 years, and invented the word biodynamic®, which means working/farming in cycles and harmony with nature. their products are not only organic but are hand picked and grown biodynamically. visit their website and subscribe to 'we' their quarterly magazine and you will be teaching your friends some new tricks!

In our house there is very frequent massaging going on and we use their calendula oil, lotion and cream for irritated anything! the kids toothpaste is the best! and the nursing tea is the only tea I trusted to help my milk flow and make it all just the more comfortable (I also used it to help in milk production at times when I needed it, for example when traveling), we even used the cream for mild eczema and it works wonders! an infants skin is five times thinner than adult's so you must take care with what you are putting on it because it is readily absorbed (how is that for a clear picture of why NOT to use chemicals and additives). and this should also encourage you not to use these things for yourself, now I hope that I have encouraged you to become a label reader if you are not already one...take a look at your makeup...yikes!...we use the whole line of weleda products for the entire family and their chic colorful packaging is really the best! when you travel throughout europe you will see a much more extensive product line so stock up! and watch your skin, hair and body radiate with happiness and say thank you to weleda!

I am going to the weleda spa for my birthday next week so I will be sure to write a full report on my visit..boy, have I been waiting for this!!