sunscreens

I felt this was a good time to talk about sunscreens because many of you are on vacation as we speak... and the rest of us are here at our desks slaving away... at any rate, we all run out to the sun in the summertime (ya-hoo! can't wait!) and I found an interesting article in this months W magazine where they report on sun protection. Did you know that since 1978 the FDA has been trying to finalize a monograph, or set of rules, governing UVA and UVB sunscreens? It seems it's comes down to a lot of red tape and there was a close monograph published in 1999 but it did not cover the issue of UVA. And while it looks as though something will be brought forward this year (finally) the new packaging will not be seen in stores until 2011.

Currently, the US 'SPF' system only looks at the UVB light (these are the rays that cause sunburn), the new system will be looking both at UVA and UVB rays (UVA = wrinkles but can also lead to skin cancer). Europe, Asia and just about everyone else has a system in place already that looks at both UVA and UVB rays. The cap on the new system will put SPF protection at 50+ (UVB) and then there will be a star system that rates the UVA rays (from one to four stars). There is also a discussion about the word "waterproof" yes, it seems that a product is not 'waterproof' if you swim in a pool all day and then jump out and wipe it (yourself) off with a towel... oops you just wiped off your sun protection. Waterproof will be replaced with the term 'very water resistant'.

Well because W magazine is W magazine they can't upset any of their advertisers and tell you that most of these US made sun protection products are full of chemicals anyhow, we will just tell you what what we do...in our family we just don't use them and we stick with only Dr. Hauschka sun protection--it follows all of the European standards so I also feel that it has safer labeling (it says "very water resistant" already). And you may crucify me for this but we usually put Dr. Hauschka on in the morning (before we leave the house so that it can soak in a bit, it's so expensive this all we can afford!). This is usually it for sun protection for the day, now we do not spend the hours of noon - 3pm at the beach so this usually works for us (both of my kids have never had a sunburn) and I feel that the vitamin D they get from the sun later in the day is better than blocking out all of the sun completely from their skin. I must add that we live in Rhode Island and I think the California sun, and the like, have a completely different story (so please share with us what YOU do all of you Californians!). But I think it's important to have some time in the sun without products (yes, this is usually at about 4-5pm so the sun is not so harsh) but it's healthy. (oh, I can just feel some comments coming on... I know this is a sore subject!) So please comment and let us know 'what' you are using, 'how long' you use it, if you don't what do you do... all of that!


and now some real NEWS:
as I went to make the link for you to the Dr. Hauschka website to buy their sun care products I found this bit of alarming information:

New European regulations for sunscreens will soon require levels of UVA protection that are impossible to achieve with natural mineral sun filters such as the titanium dioxide in Dr.Hauschka Sunscreens. In order to meet the requirements of these new regulations and maintain our products' SPF ratings, we would be forced to reformulate using synthetic filters.

Our unwavering dedication to pure, holistic skin care and BDIH guidelines for natural ingredients prevent us from using synthetic sun filters in our preparations. As a result, Dr.Hauschka Skin Care has made the difficult decision to discontinue our existing sun care range.

As of January 1, 2009, Dr.Hauschka Sun Care products will no longer be available in the U.S.

hheellllPPPP!

peanuts

The peanut story is so disturbing but I have grappled with the hitting home story in all of this, I know that there have been may people that were infected, but I wanted to hear the story of what it looks like... if you know what I mean. Yesterday I got an email from the people at The Root, which is an online magazine. This story will give you insight into what it feels like when your child could become sick with Salmonella, in a story by Hamil Harris, where he explains how "My Son Nearly Died of Salmonella" (click here for a link to the full story) this is such a touching story but, smartly, it explains what the onset of Salmonella looks like in a child. With all of the sickness, flu, etc. that is going around it is eye-opening to know the difference.

I would also like to point out that this is a good commercial for Organics, although this could happen to any business that has crooked ownership, this is obviously less likely to happen with Organics because of all of it's testing and restrictions due to the USDA Organic label and it's guidelines. I think that many times today we think that there is 'some agency' that is watching over business to make sure that our food is safe, I don't want to sound like an alarmist but if YOU grow it and cook it isn't it much better, cheaper and more wholesome. I also understand how complicated this is but I think that if people wake up to the desire for this our eating habits will become more clean and wholesome as a result. We haven't personally built our own garden yet so I am quite the hypocrite but... as they say... one thing at a time... let's all work on it and make this world a better, safer and more simple place for our children.

(Hamil R. Harris, who wrote the story on 'The Root' is a reporter for The Washington Post.)

determine the sex of your baby? maybe...

Yes, this could be just another idea in the long list of ways that you can try to determine the sex of your baby, honestly, I don't know of the other ideas (please share them with us by making a comment below if you know of any!) and I hadn't thought much about it until someone told me this one... and it sounded like it could work to me. So what the heck, I gave it a whirl... and it seemed to work for me, but who REALLY knows what is fate and what is not.

So here is the idea... if the male constitution is stronger of the two partners you will have a girl and if the female's constitution is stronger you will have a boy. Now here is the tough part, ones constitution is such a subtle thing because it is not determined by 'strength' necessarily, yet more on the health or vitality of your 'being', not to get existential on you... but there it is. You and your partner are usually of similar constitution because you usually eat the same things so if you eat well you have a strong constitution, but ones constitution also takes into consideration being outside and fresh air, exercise, the health of your organs and things like this...

So here is how I kind of personalized it for us (I don't even remember if I told my husband about it... ) I am from a family of three women, my father died when I was very young so men were a pretty foreign being for me. My sister had three girls, so I thought "hey, so will I ...right?!". When we were told with our first baby that we were going to have a boy I just thought "wow... what the heck am I going to do with that!?" it was a real surprise for me (life has a way of throwing those at you right?), and now I know... sort of... what to do with 'that'.. although the energy of a boy is just beyond me! So when it came time to think about another baby I had heard of this constitution story. I was told about how the constitution worked like I said above (male stronger = girl, female stronger = boy) and this friend had done this herself, she said just drink lots of coffee and eat sweets and that is a pretty direct line to lower your constitution.

I did... and we did... have a girl! I also got very sick, so I don't really recommend it honestly but hey... you never know!?

(the above sketch is something I found, it's by Lotte Klaver - click here to see her blog)

The Nonchalantdad: La belle musique de la langue française!

Jacques Brel

As I'm sure you are aware, the culture of the United States has pretty much been one of our biggest exports since the end of World War II. For better or worse, our music and popular culture was the newest thing on the block - and our European Friends (not to mention the rest of the world) started eating it up. All things 'American' were the rage. It's not so ripe now, but you can still easily find the vestiges of this pervasiveness wherever you are pretty much traveling. So much so, that this 'American' thing can't really be easily traced back to its source any longer - it has become an entity unto itself! Something translatable into many different forms, depending on what country you happen to find yourself in.

Josephine Baker

I know for sure through my own connection to the UK that many of my friends there happened to have an obsession with the music of America in particular - and I'm not talking about Michael Jackson. The more obscure forms were often the more popular - something authentic, like traditional folk music from the 'back woods', or the blues from our South, or original country and western from the deep West. There's alot of great music from the United States that are one of our proudest and more authentic storytellers. And, impressions are everything - as we have learned over the last decade in particular!

But, what about the other way around? What about those of us who have a deep fascination with the music of other cultures? The way things are set up in our own country, it is hard to hear the voices of other cultures and societies on a regular basis. But, today, with the internet, that world is no longer so restrictive and, as such, much more easily experienced - thank God! So, people like myself who are very much into the obscure, or rare, sounds of other cultures..... well - have I found a new place for you!

Edith Piaf

Just about everyone is familiar with the sounds of Jacques Brel (my wife had always had a passion for this man!), Josephine Baker, or the indomitable Edith Piaf. But what about a whole range of French music spanning a whole century of tastes - from the ridiculous (some crazy sounding stuff from the 60's and 70's) to the sublime, and everything in between. Well, I recently stumbled onto a great website that has since become my soundtrack while working, Chanteurs.org. I am not a natural French speaker, as many of my vocal blunders can attest to during my 6 or 7 visits to France - but the French language is without a doubt one of the most beautiful languages this world has to offer. And, afterall, it is easy to pretend while listening to some of the these wonderful gems, that you indeed do speak the language fluently.... Quelle surprise!

We are supposed to be returning to an older, more natural, form of living these days - the days of excess are over, apparently. And what better way to celebrate some of that earlier authenticity than by relying on the culture of our predecessors (I'm not talking the 80's here!) to help us! And, what could be more fun than listening to this music with your kids - don't even think the language barrier will be a problem for them!

And, just think of the discoveries you'll make, even if you are just a tiny bit of a Francophile! I have some new favorites now that you are unlikely to see on MTV anytime soon: how about the group called 'Rita Mitsouko' (their song 'Restez avec moi' is a treat), or Luis Mariano's 'Le Rossignol', or Roberta's 'le long du canal'...... oh quel plaisir! Almost every other song on the radio program is a jewel I'm not familiar with... and that radio program can be found on your ITunes Radio under the international section.

So, if you're like me and your a natural born sucker for this kind of stuff - you'll have some real fun discovering all sorts of stuff that you didn't even know existed probably. And, to boot, after a while listening to this music, you'll start to think that your daily errands are charged with all that much more jaunty magic! Enjoy, and let me know what you think. I'll keep my ears out for other things too, but if any of you know something like this, whatever the country, let me know - I know my wife would love an Italian version, or Swedish. Or, what about a Spanish one.... oh my, the list goes on! Oh quelle joie de découvrir! (oh no.... did I just ask directions to the train station again!).....

more valentines

a little more in a rush but all the same we got our valentines day cards ready... I made them on 'inDesign' but the kids picked the image they wanted to use and all else, and then we just cut our hearts of all sizes from red construction paper, easy as pie! I thought they turned out pretty cute and it's an easy way to come up with cards for your kids to share with their friends at school.


I must say I still love those old fashioned ones, but all I can find these days is Dora or Thomas the tank engine... not as fun!

good luck with your cards and have some fun with it!

Christoph Niemann's Illustrations

I don't know Christoph Niemann personally. But I have seen his illustrations, without knowing it at first, on the occasional cover of the New Yorker magazine. So, when I came across a blog entry he did for the NY Times recently, I thought I'd share it with you. Since my husband and I left NYC 5 years ago, after living there for some years, we often find ourselves remembering the oddest things from that magical and energetic city. So, when I saw these sort of Lego construction/illustrations that Niemann put together as a sort of remembrance of the NYC he had left recently .... well, they just struck a cord. And, if you are familiar with NYC, you'll get the idea too. I'll share some of the images with you. If you want to see more you can check them out here.


I checked out his website out of curiosity to see what else he has done and found myself sincerely amused (the kind of amusement where you find yourself chuckling out loud) by the simplicity of some of his imagery in many cases, and his eye for the subtle and absurd. He's the kind of guy, it seems to me, who can take an everyday word and alter a few letters to reveal something you'd never knew was under your nose the whole time! That kind of humor..... ! My favorite kind, besides good 'ol slapstick. Here's his website, have a visual stroll around - I recommend you start in the section where he lists his blog entry series for the NY Times. There's a fun one there where he describes visually his kids obsession with the Subway system - and god how I know my kids love that subway!


Anyway, I was happy to hear that he is the father of three young boys too. His basic bio says that he lived in NYC for several years and then recently moved to Berlin with his wife and kids. If you know him, tell him we'd like to interview him for our Global Parents segment.... I'm sure his 'story' and insights would be interesting. From the looks of his imaginitive mind - he sure looks as though he studies the world much differently from day to day than we average folk! How FUN!


And, if you haven't seen them - be on the look out for his 2 children's books The Pet Dragon (which teaches kids about Chinese characters) and The Police Cloud. What fun - I'm glad I stumbled on his work! You can see, and find out more, on his website christophniemann.com.

Big City Biking!

I seem to remember that Amsterdam had an idea to distribute 'free' bicycles some years ago. They would be painted white and the idea behind them was that you could find one of these bikes in the city and borrow it - then, when you were finished you'd leave it for someone else to take from there. I can't seem to find if this idea was ever started properly - and if it was started, what happened to it. I would like to think I remember that there was a story about all the bikes being stolen and repainted or something like that! But, like I said - I can't remember.

I thought of this because I was just reading something about Paris and the system which the city introduced about a year and a half ago called Velib. If you haven't heard of Velib, then the idea goes something like this: Thousands of bikes are displayed at specific Kiosks/Stations around the center of Paris, you can swipe a travel card and take one - the first half an hour is basically free and any time after that is charged at a very reasonable rate - something like 1 Euro. I loved the idea that cities around the world are trying to come up with clever ideas to get people away from cars. I was intrigued mostly because, of course, I always equate anything super stylish with the Parisian sensibility. But, like most people initially, I thought this fun and super-eco idea was doomed to failure because, humans being generally humans, the bikes would start to be stolen, or trashed, or sold off... etc. But, Velib seemed different - the people behind the idea looked as though they thought of all of these potential problems beforehand. Hence, the sleek dual-gender
design with its destinctive shape, the system of returning the bikes to established stations, and the swiping of cards, to name a few.

When the bikes first came into use in the Summer of 2007 it was a huge success. Estimates are now that millions of people have used the bikes which supposedly number about 20,000. The system was user friendly and efficient, people thought they were cool, and availability was easy. Furthermore, many other cities around the globe started toying with idea - places as diverse as Chicago, Seoul, Washington DC, San Francisco, London, and Singapore. I even read that Paris, and a city in Australia (can't remember which one!), were considering the idea of offering electric vehicles in the same sort of structure - borrow and pay a small fee, return the car to a station and leave it. Slowly but sure, our major cities would be awash with bicyclists instead of cars !!! The air would be cleaner, and people would be healthier for it. I am such an optimist!


Even in our neck of the woods, where riding a bike is not something you see every day, considering everything is so spread out, the local council converted an old railway line used at the turn of the 19th/20th Century into a very nice bike path. It isn't very convenient for daily errands, unless you live on it or near it (which we don't) - but at least it is an invitation to get out there and get some exercise. The kids love it, and it is very convenient for teaching our oldest how to ride a bike in safety.

But, I digress! So, following up on the latest news from Velib (or the BBC rather) - the system has hit some snags... or the most obvious snag: people have been stealing the bikes or just plain trashing them, so much so that the company that started the idea is suggesting it can not continue with that much vandalism and loss. I am pretty hopeful that somebody will come up with an idea for better keeping track of the bikes, since that seems like the biggest problem. I'd hate to see such a wonderful idea go bust!

But, there you go - a BIG salute to people who are trying to find ideas to make our lives more accessible - better for the environment and simpler! So, I just thought I'd share the idea with you, in case you might not have heard of it..... and perhaps it will give you ammunition to think of something that might help your community in much the same way. You never know, right? Next thing you know, every US city could soon be like Amsterdam, Copenhagen, or Beijing! Bikes everywhere.......!!! Fingers Crossed.

Spring Lucky Wang is here!

This spring the collections are arriving very slowly, but not Lucky Wang they are on their game and on top of it and it's really a sporty fun collection! My favorites are the Genie pants (seen in above photo) I think that the collection couldn't be better and more exciting! Emily and Kit, the dynamic duo that is behind Lucky Wang, really went to town with colorful and typically Lucky Wang prints... nobody does it better! Emily found inspiration for the Spring collection from blossoms on the cherry tree on a Tokyo street against the grey sky of early spring, a more quiet and soft collection, like the lace on the door of a cobbler, familiar and comforting.


When I opened the boxes of the new collection I saw these deep colors against some really lovely sweet prints and it really made sense to me! Now all we need is for it to warm up a bit around here! But if you are vacationing or lucky enough to live somewhere that it's already warm (yes! jump on it you New Zealanders and Aussies!)


Emily and Kit live in New York City with their two kids who are both in school (and in some of their pictures!) I wanted to get a feeling for their normal day, when I got her answers I decided that I am going to go and live with them... it sounds great!

NCM: who gets up in the morning with the kids?
EMILY: lately I get up in the morning first and try to make lunch and breakfast. then I wake Kit up, then the kids. And always... rushing out the door with them. We both walk the kids to school together.

NCM: what do you guys like to eat for breakfast?
EMILY: Mine is coffee. Kids' are baguette from Bouley Bakery with left over Cuban pernil, scramble eggs and fresh cilantro on top.
Kit's is fresh bread and cold restaurant style butter and coffee.

NCM: what is your favorite thing to make yourself?
EMILY: We like to make French country style apple cake together.

NCM: how do you feel about traveling with the kids?
EMILY: I like traveling with the kids, preferably without the husband.
We bring books, somewhat healthy snacks like fruits, paper and coloring pens. They entertain each other.

NCM: do your kids share a room?
EMILY: Yes, the kids share a room with bunk beds. They like it. They don't have a choice.

NCM: do you have any home design essentials or things that you love about your home?
EMILY: We live in a high rise apartment, 32nd floor with a view of Hudson river, Jersey and beyond. I like to watch the change of the weather from our place. Rain storms, snow storms, fog, and sunsets.

Over the last few years Emily and I have become friends (and Kit too, he has a really dry sense of humor that I love) and you better believe me, there is really no one that is more chic and totally 'cool' than Emily, she is at the top of my list!

Thank you Emily for taking a moment to talk to us and like I said before... I'm moving in!

krishna das

I don't often like to make posts that say "I did this or that last night" (a little too personal) but I really wanted to share this with you, first because it was amazing and second he is possibly going to be in your neighborhood very soon...

Last night we went to see Krishna Das in the beautiful First Unitarian Church in Providence Rhode Island. This was such lovely location to see and hear Krishna Das, it was a really beautiful experience and I am just giving you tip to keep your ears open in case he is coming to you! I don't know the entire story about Krishna Das, I was introduced to him by my local yoga center, All That Matters. I bought a CD and I was instantly hooked, in fact I cried the first time I heard him sing it's really enchanting. The evening consisted of kirtans of 2-3 hours with call-and-response chanting, we could only stay for an hour and a half but it was the most wonderful hour and a half I could have imagined. I had no idea what I was chanting, and Krishna Das thankfully said that that was ok at the begining, so chant away I did... I really recommend this to just about anyone. I am sure that eventually I will learn some of the chants but just the sound and the feeling for now are enough for me.

We didn't bring the kids, although I wanted to but we decided it was a bit too late for them, but they certainly listen to his CD and they chant along with him (and me) in the car. They really love it and ask for it all the time. I haven't heard all of the CDs but if you are going to get just one I would suggest "Flow and Grace" it also has a book with it which will give you some history.

here is the tour schedule:
(some of these are workshops so got to the website to find out more information about each appearance)

February 14 - Miami, FL
February 17 - Atlant, GA
February 18 - Atlanta, GA
February 24 - Nyack, NY
Feb 28 - March 3 - Bahamas - chant retreat
March 12 - 15 - Kripalu
March 27 - 29 - Ananda Ashram - Monroe, NY
April 4 - Toronto, Canada

You can visit his website here for more information about Krishna Das and to buy CDs.

I have to apologize for the photo but I was kind of embarrassed to take it, it was a little dark (and cozy), and I was way to embarrassed to use a flash... sorry! but I hope that you get the idea!

valentines day ideas! and CONTEST!

Last year we posted a fun valentines day project, but we posted it ON the day, not so fun. So here is a link to fun cards that you can make at home, if you have some creative tools on your computer (anything that helps you put words onto images works!) then you can make these simple and fun cards to share with your kids friends and family! Let your kids help you pick the image, font and colors and have a blast!


This year we are going to follow the lead of Martha Stewart (again!) and make cupcakes, in her February issue there are a whole bunch of great ideas for cupcakes and I swear they all look fun, some are a little over the top but I know there are those of you out there who are up for the task... you are just going to have to tell us all about it! We made a dry run with muffins, and somehow my kids knew the difference between muffins and cupcakes! "MOM, these are not cupcakes! these are muffins!" so we need to start over....

We would like to hear from YOU this year, all of you talented people out there I know you have some wonderful ideas for Valentines day, so sock-it-to ME! Just tell us any old thing and our favorite idea will win a Lucky Fish Sweetheart t-shirt! Yahoo!! So post your comment now and the winner will be announced on Valentines Day!!!

The Nonchalantdad: the Poo hits the fan....

OK, I know what you're thinking...."oh, I just knew, sooner or later, ol' Nonchalantdad couldn't resist the topic of poo." But, it's not true. It's not like I sat down with a smirk and thought....hmmm.... how can I factor 'poo' into a story. No pun intended - these things just need to come naturally. And, anyway - with this story, it was going to be hard enough to come up with an accompanying image.

My six year old son announced to me (by way of our usual free-form conversing style while he was taking a bath) the other day that one of the boys in his class told him, and a few other kids in the class, a story. Apparently, and just as casual as can be, he recounted that this boy told the other kids that his brother kissed his butt and then ate some of his poo!!! OK, OK.... yes.... it was just like that. Of course, I was busy lathering my son up with soap as he told me this. So, naturally I sat back, and for a moment we just looked at each other. Time has a way of elongating at moments like this.....

My son's face reminded me of how I must have looked when I was near his age. I remember that we used to have this kid on our street who, for a brief time, took pleasure in finding you playing somewhere on the street and, just as casually as can be, invited you to come over to his house to show you his recent poo in the toilet. Listen, I recall even then, it didn't take much to realize this kid had a special problem. But, as kids often do (and a small group of us did) we were intrigued enough to all start walking over to his house to see what all the fuss was about. Of course, on the way over, who should we all bump into? Well, as memory has it, it was Mrs Havenshaw (of course, I changed the name to protect the innocent... but I still needed something close). It was THE Mrs Havenshaw who stopped us. Now, I don't expect you to know who Mrs Havenshaw is. But, she was pretty well known on our little street at the time, only because she was one of those ladies (and every street seems to have one, no?) who was... well... let's just say she was pretty anxious. In fact, she was one of those people for whom everything seems to be cause for worry and who would always stop you at length and lecture you about it. In this case, she was out front of her home and wondering why this small group of young kids was moving quickly in one particular direction. So, as you do at that approximate age, you answer a direct question with a direct answer - something like this:

Mrs Havenshaw: "children, children, SLOW DOWN! Where are all of you little troublemakers off to so fast anyway?"
Me: "We are going to look at Sammy's poo..."

Well, no sooner had I shared this basic information than there was the sound of a large, and abrupt, inhalation on the part of Mrs Havenshaw. "You WHAT!" she exclaimed. And, again, I answered (obviously not quite aware of the 5th amendment as yet) - this time being slapped on the back of my shoulder by one of the older children in our group who obviously DID know about the 5th amendment. Needless to say, as quick as you can say 'Bobs your Uncle' we were all marched to our respective homes one by one by the 'kindly' Mrs Havenshaw. Before reaching home I got to witness a few of our group being marched up to their homes first. It became a recurring theme of that same abrupt inhalation on the part of the respective parent, a quick grab and then the kid would disappear into the shadows of the entry way and the door slamming shut. So, by the time we had reached our home with Mrs Havenshaw, my sister and I were definitely thinking we were going to our own funerals.

At the door, Mrs Havenshaw quickly described to my mother what happened. I was only wishing that it had been my father who answered the door, because his english was dodgy enough that you at least stood a small chance he wouldn't understand Mrs Havenshaw's clipped and hurried tones. BUT, to our surprise, and Mrs Havenshaw's apparent disapproval, my mother laughed and laughed. What Mrs Havenshaw failed to remember was that my mother was one of those English mothers who can only best be described as wearing an apron, with a scarf tied on her head, and a rolling pin in her hand...... like one of those old English war films. Salt of the Earth, my mother. And, worse for Mrs Havenshaw, my mother was an English nurse. And anyone who knows a nurse knows that they are pretty unflappable when it comes to do with anything bodily.

So, I guess I'm telling you this because what I did in that next second, with my own little guy looking at me like he had just foregone his fifth amendment right, was look my son straight in the eye and pretend like it wasn't a huge and suspicious shock. I suppose I did what I had learned from my mother. In order not to make the situation something exemplary, or just plain outrageous, I casually started asking questions back like I was curious, more than anything. The strategy is a simple one: instead of making an issue out of the thing, thus bringing more special attention to it, and possibly encouraging my son to think of it as outrageous or something that elicits horror (so that he thinks twice about sharing 'questionable' material again in the future), you direct the conversation to gradually explain that such behaviour (if even true in the first place) is not acceptable. So, we started talking 'poo'...... Listen, I'm not going to get into it. Suffice to say, that in a roundabout fashion, I explained that kissing someones butt is not really going to taste very good (and to demonstrate, I made alot of 'YUCK YUCK YUCK' sounds) and is not something people generally go around doing - unless you just started a job. And further, that eating someones poo can make you sick sick sick (more audible 'YUCK YUCK .... ARRGGGH YUCK' sounds). In the end, we both were making the 'YUCK' sounds and agreeing that such behaviour is just not right.

I suspect that Mrs Havenshaw wouldn't have agreed any more with my approach, or lack of reprimand or immediate dismissal, than she did on the doorstep that day with my mother. But, my point is this: the more you make of something, the more your child will think of it as special. And, as my mother knew, the body and its numerous functions don't need to be thought of as an exception. They are normal. I don't want my child to be shocked by poo, no more than I am. And, I don't need him thinking that poo is something that requires extra special condemnation. Poo is natural - as are many things in this world. And, I don't want to set up a precedent by which my son will think that some topics are best not discussed with Daddy or Mommy. But, I don't need him thinking that this behaviour is acceptable either - and hence, my attempt to steer the conversation into the YUCK factor.

What my mother taught me by experience that day, and others to come, was that the best way to often deal with young people is not to outright dismiss a subject or possible behaviour just because it is uncomfortable. You have to get inside the subject, or idea ( like riding a wave to shore) and direct it knowingly where you'd like it to go. Nobody is offended then, and nobody gets hurt - nothing shocking. You casually make your point and perhaps teach a lesson.

I prefer to take my mother's path in this regard - because to take Mrs Havenshaw's would mean that I'd spend the day at my window looking out, just like she seemed to do all the time.... waiting, just waiting for something bad to happen! And, yes.... you guessed it - I get to end with this little ditty: Life throws up lot's of crap! Deal with it! hah!

swedish pancakes

It happens just about once a week, it's Swedish pancakes for breakfast! Really the kids want them every day... but it takes some time so I have learned not to do it on a school morning. Swedish pancakes make a special morning treat, and we like to have them for guests when friends are in town. The ingredients are easy and you probably always have them in your fridge, I like to pull everything out of the refrigerator so that people can roll them up how they want. I grew up with sour cream + brown sugar but everyone has their own favorite, strawberries and whip cream, yum.

Here are some thing you can pull out: yoghurt, jam, lingon berries (or cranberries), sour cream, brown sugar, maple syrup (for the americans), any berries in season; blue berries, strawberries, bananas, peaches or plums, you can see where I am going with this and its fun to fill the table with all of the ideas and then lay out your crepes for everyone to roll their own.

ingredients
1 cup flour
1+ cup milk (I think rice milk works best! but don't tell my mom!)
2 eggs
some melted butter

whisk all ingredients together and you will usually need a bit more milk to get the right consistency, but it's easier to remember '1 cup flour/ 1 cup milk and 2 eggs'. Then melt about 2 tsp butter in your pan to get it ready and whisk the butter into your batter.

It makes any normal day festive, or a festive day all the more special!

I will put the disclaimer in that I don't have a real Swedish pancake pan and my mom is not ready to hand hers over to me, so rather than buying one I am going to wait until she is ready to give it up! for now, we just use a #6 iron skillet (I happen to have the best seasoned one in town, and they never stick!) and they look more like crepes but we still call them Swedish pancakes! (the picture below is of the real swedish pancakes)


Martha Stewart did a story recently on swedish pancakes (whoops, she called them Crepes) so she has a bunch of good recipes on her website as well, her recipe is a little more complicated but hey... it's Martha! and she has so many great ideas of things to go with them! visit her website here for more ideas.

Well I say, just have some fun with them and try lots of different things on top... savory is good too, not always sweet! share your ideas with us!

The Nonchalantdad: Oh Baby!

Marlene Dumas

Some of us over here at Nonchalant Mom are addicted to contemporary art. It's fun and interesting, and like new music, it can keep you fresh and enlivened. And, for Christmas this year my wife commissioned a portrait painting of our kids for me as a gift. So, my interest was raised when the oddly named blog artfagcity did a little piece on the depiction of babies, or small children, in art - by various artists both well known and not. There were some fun images to look at, some uncomfortable, and some just plain strange.

We took a few of our favorites and wanted to share them with you - just for the hell of it. Because it's fun, because it's a little different.... and proof positive that we have our feelers out just about everywhere trying to find all sorts of interesting stuff! Some of it you might like, some of it, I warn you, might make you do a double take. Nonetheless, you're sophisticated enough to find it interesting!

Charles Ray 'Family Romance' 1993

I remember the piece from Charles Ray above from a retrospective of his work at the Whitney a few years ago. This freestanding piece is an even stranger one when you see it in person - stops you in your tracks!

Loretta Lux 'Spring 2001'

The photos of Loretta Lux have always been intriguing to me since I first saw them in a magazine. There is this 'otherworldliness' that just makes them simply beautiful. You can see more of her striking work at the Yossi Milo Gallery. In fact, I always wanted to own one her prints..... I'm just not sure I can afford it now!

Catherine Opie 'Self Portrait Nursing' 2004

Here is one from Catherine Opie that I just saw as part of her show at the Guggenheim. I have to admit that I'm not a great overall fan of her work, but this image is completely natural and without bells and whistles to draw you in - like some of her other stuff. I'm sure this might get you into trouble if you try and post it on Facebook... hah!

Phillipe Parenno

Must admit that I'm not familiar with this artist but really thought that it was a great idea! There are times when I hear the sound of my children in the other room and I expect to turn the corner and see their head this big wailing about something, right? Any parent with a small child having a tantrum can relate to this scale!

Keith Haring 'Radiating Baby'

This image is the most familiar of all - and the simplest. But, compared to alot of other graffiti
I see, Keith Haring does much without much! And, by this point, his work has become very nostalgic for a New York City of the 1980's. Deitch Projects in association with the Haring Foundation and Goldman Properties recreated a mural of his from the early 80's on the corner of Houston and Bowery in NYC - fun and colorful, just what you'd expect. And, with many young people mining the trends of the 80's right now, it is fun to see an original. You can see the mural here, but I think its term is now ended (I understand that they are going to recreate another one on the same spot).

Davy Lauterbach 'Dustin'

And, I just had to add this painting from Davy Lauterbach. I saw his work in a group show called 'SuperPower' down near Chinatown two or so years ago - he had this thing for taking everyday photos that might have been shot at a Sears Department Store, circa 1978 for example, and altering or accentuating a detail or two until the painting looked very odd. You didn't know if you could laugh or not in many cases. Davy used to work on the team that created the Simpsons Cartoon and this is stuff he did himself for himself...... you see what happens when you've worked on the Simpsons! You can see more of his work at the Scope Art Fair this March in NYC - I understand he will be showing more paintings with a gallery called dFAULKEN. You can hunt down the gallery's booth if you're in town then and find yourself at the fair.

Ron Mueck 'Baby'

Ron Mueck's work is always compelling - primarily because his 'sculptures' are so life-like right down to a strand of hair. I first came upon his work when that big controversial show came to NYC a while ago now at the Brooklyn Museum (you remember Mayor Giuliani threatened the museum over another piece of work in that same show?) - the one featuring new work from the UK. Anyway, all the hype and attention was going to some of the other artists in that show, but Ron Mueck's work really stood out for me. It really does make you consider things differently when you come across a newborn fully out of context and scale size! You might think twice if you commissioned him to create your children's portrait! But, in it's way, his work is frighteningly beautiful.

Of course, there's a whole history of art devoted to the lovely little plump cherubs. But, this is something a little different than that..... maybe I should have made that clearer at the beginning! oops.

domino, bye bye... whaaaa!

yes, I cried just like a baby! (just kidding, sort of... ) I am so sad to hear that one of my favorite publications will be calling it quits with the March issue... why is it that the the really GOOD magazines never stay around long, well at least they are in good company, remember Mirabella (in the beginning when Grace was at the helm) and what about H&G (yes, I like house and garden but for awhile in the 90's there was H&G and it was GREAT!). I can't imagine where I am going to get my inspiration... on a monthly basis! I love Cookie Magazine as well, but somehow it's a little high-brow for me, I loved that Domino was accessible. I feel really lucky that they photographed our house so amazingly and made it look like... well like a really cozy great house (it is! ha!).

So here is a possible upshot... I never really covered that kind of 'home' thing much because I thought that domino did it so well, so I will try my best to offer more home things on my blog, just to fill in some of the open space that is out there without Domino... We will try to get by until someone steps up to the plate and creates another very fun, spontaneous, exciting and inspiring magazine...anyone up for the challenge, come on Condé Nast!

and if you don't get Cookie magazine already on a monthly basis, you should...let's make sure that at least IT stays around for us to look forward to! It IS filled with great mom information!