8.24.2007

moms and dads and PARENTING--yikes!

par·ent·ing [pair-uhn-ting, par-] Pronunciation –noun
1.the rearing of children.
2.the methods, techniques, etc., used or required in the rearing of children.
3.the state of being a parent; parenthood.
–adjective
4.of or concerned with the rearing of children: good parenting skills.

this summer as our friends came and went on visits to our rhode island home I was continually amazed at how different we all parent and use our parenting skills and I start to look at how me and my husband are as parents as well, and then I laugh...because I think that we all look around and listen to each other and think "is that how you do it?" or "that's not how you do it!"...and hanging out in the summertime is when you really see it all playing out before our very eyes! no nannies, just mom and dad and the kids, and usually at whit's end (we really need a vacation at the end of summertime!).

between my husband and myself I was the one that wanted children, and I give them a terrific amount of love, but my husband...he is a really good 'parent', although anyone we know would tell you differently, he knows how to act like a grown-up with the kids, and I think that is something of a gift to them. there is a new book out (and I haven't read it yet, but I will!) by richard bromfield called 'How to Unspoil Your Child Fast' and what I have read about it so far he has some good things to say like "a child who perpetually pesters her parent is searching for a limit she needs to grow straight"...somehow I can really relate to that, he goes on to say that many parents today are afraid to pick up the reigns of parenting--in a recent review of the book I read in cookie magazine, nell casey adds that, "many of us are tempted to fulfill our children's needs almost before they occur to them" I read that and I thought to myself I saw that a lot this summer with my friends and myself. I have a friend that is a young single mom and she said to me today of her 6 month old daughter who she is trying to understand..."I've been calling the shots now for 24 hours and it's working so far" I love her for that and I cheered her on!...I would never want someone to think that a nonchalant mom just sits back and let's the child take the reigns, it's more about being comfortable as a MOM and what that means to your kids, (notice MOM is capitalized!)

ps. I can't figure out how to get this book...so if anyone does, let me know!